Any thought I had about perhaps being a big enough person not to revel in a little schadenfreude went right out the window when my friend Steve Smolinsky emailed me this headline a few weeks ago.
(To read the full story, click here)
This was a revelation to me. I had no idea that suicide bombing is something you need to go to school for. I always assumed the instructions were pretty simple:
- Strap on vest
- Make your way to a place filled with innocents
- Push the red button
- Express great surprise at the absence of virgins
Obviously, there’s more to it, presumably starting with “When practicing, be sure to use a vest that’s not actually packed with explosives.” Good advice. A little surprising that anyone needs to hear it.
I’ve been meaning to post this since it arrived, mostly because along the way, I picked up these wonderful bits of drollery from friends:
- “One thing you know for sure about a suicide bombing instructor – no on the job experience.”
. . . and . . .
- “Kids – they blow up so fast nowadays.”
Someone somewhere no doubt is blaming America for this mishap and using it to recruit and misguide yet more children. I was hoping that this sort of over-the-top corporal punishment might discourage at least a few of them from signing up for this class. Apparently not. As I was getting ready to post this, I heard that yesterday in Iraq, suicide bombers killed 30 of their countrymen/women/children and wounded 70 more.
Misguided is the wrong adjective.