Any thought I had about perhaps being a big enough person not to revel in a little schadenfreude went right out the window when my friend Steve Smolinsky emailed me this headline a few weeks ago.
(To read the full story, click here)
This was a revelation to me. I had no idea that suicide bombing is something you need to go to school for. I always assumed the instructions were pretty simple:
- Strap on vest
- Make your way to a place filled with innocents
- Push the red button
- Express great surprise at the absence of virgins
Obviously, there’s more to it, presumably starting with “When practicing, be sure to use a vest that’s not actually packed with explosives.” Good advice. A little surprising that anyone needs to hear it.
I’ve been meaning to post this since it arrived, mostly because along the way, I picked up these wonderful bits of drollery from friends:
- “One thing you know for sure about a suicide bombing instructor – no on the job experience.”
. . . and . . .
- “Kids – they blow up so fast nowadays.”
Someone somewhere no doubt is blaming America for this mishap and using it to recruit and misguide yet more children. I was hoping that this sort of over-the-top corporal punishment might discourage at least a few of them from signing up for this class. Apparently not. As I was getting ready to post this, I heard that yesterday in Iraq, suicide bombers killed 30 of their countrymen/women/children and wounded 70 more.
Misguided is the wrong adjective.
Carp Diem 
The most amazing thing about the seemingly endless stream of suicide bombers is the apparent ease with which the recruiters are able to brain wash people into believing that killing themselves and a few other people will actually do something positive. The level of hatred is scary as it leads to the conclusion that there is no room for rational discourse on ways to resolve differences. Only death of many innocents will suffice. The thing that confuses me the most is why this phenomenon has taken such hold among Moslems, a religion of no more innate violence than any other.
Thanks to years of personal growth work and my investment in discipline and study I have arrived at a point in my life where I do not take joy in the suffering of others. Those people died and . . .
Oh crap, this is just too funny. A deeply satisfying knee-slapper. All sorts of pithies dancing in my head –
– What goes around booms around.
– Turnabout is fair . . . kapow!
– “You don’t know the power of the dark . . . ”
On a more serious note, if you want an adjective, try a grouping like, “terrified and self-righteous,” the consistent fundamentalist life experience. That’s for any fundamentalist, not just jihadists.